My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
