She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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