I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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