then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
