Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
