who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
