ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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