I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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