respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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