I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
