I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
