hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
