It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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