um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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