i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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