I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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