True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
