You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
