sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i think i have two assholes
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
