it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
