the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
