A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
