im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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