I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
