dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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