Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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