Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
