Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
