So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize