I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
