dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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