I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
