I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
