my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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