ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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