this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
