Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
