honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
