Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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