he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
