i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Two words: blizzard sex
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
