i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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