It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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