i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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