Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
