I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
