She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
