I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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