I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
