you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
